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Not A Pretty Girl Complete Album
by ANI DIFRANCO

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lyrics to Not A Pretty Girl Complete Album / Ani Difranco

Worthy
you think you're not worthy
i'd have to say i agree
i'm not worthy of you
you're not worthy of me
which of us is deserving
look at the human race
the whole planet at arm's length
and we don't deserve this place

what good is a poker face
when you've got an open hand
i was supposed to be cool about this
yeah
i remember
cool was the plan
tried to keep it all under wraps
but the wraps kept going slack
i keep turning round
i keep coming back

give me your vertical
your horizontal line
i want to take each of them
bend them to fit mine
the world is too good for me
i am such a naughty girl
but when we're together
we're too good for this world

you think you're not worthy
i'd have to say i agree
i'm not worthy of you
you're not worthy of me
i'm not worthy of you
you aren't worthy of me...

Tiptoe
tiptoeing through the used condoms
strewn on the piers
off the west side highway
sunset behind the skyline of jersey
walking towards the water
with a fetus holding court in my gut
my body highjacked
my tits swollen
i'm sore
the river has more colors at sunset than my sock drawer ever dreamed of
i could wake up screaming sometimes
but i don't
i could step off the end of this pier
but i've got shit to do
and i've an appointment on tuesday
to shed uninvited blood and tissue
i'll miss you i say to the river
to the water
to the son or
daughter i thought better of
i could fall in love with jersey at sunset
but i leave
the view
to the rats
and tiptoe back

Cradle And All
fourteenth street and the garbage swirls like a cyclone
three o'clock in the afternoon and i am going home
f train is full of high school students
so much shouting
so much laughter
last night's underwear in my back pocket
sure sign of the morning after

take me home
take me home and leave me there
think i'm going to cry, i don't know why
think i'm going to sing myself a lullaby
feel free to listen
feel free to stare

i live in new york new york the city that never shuts up
in the daylight everything is so gory
you can hear snatches of stranger's sorry stories
and i moved there from buffalo but that's nothing
the trico plant moved to mexico
left my uncle standing out in the cold
said there's your last paycheck have fun growing old

take me home
take me home and leave me there
think i'm going to cry, i don't know why
think i'm going to sing myself a lullaby
feel free to listen
feel free to stare
rockabye baby
in the treetop
when the wind blows
cradle will rock
when the bough breaks
the cradle will fall
down will come baby
cradle and all

youth is beauty
money is beauty
hell, beauty is beauty sometimes
it's the luck of the draw
it's the natural law
it's a joke
it's a crime
i was bored
you were bored
it was a meeting of the minds
now it's three in the afternoon and i can't leave too soon
saying thank you, i had a nice time

take me home
take me home and leave me there
think i'm going to cry, i don't know why
think i'm going to sing myself a lullaby
feel free to listen
feel free to stare

maybe i'll live my whole life
just getting by
maybe i'll be discovered
maybe i'll be colonized
you could try to train me like a pet
you could try to teach me to behave
but i'll tell you, if i haven't learned it yet
you know,
i ain't gonna sit, i ain't gonna stay

take me home
take me home and leave me there
think i'm going to cry, i don't know why
think i'm going to sing myself a lullaby
feel free to listen
feel free to stare

Shy
the heat is so great
it plays tricks with the eye
it turns the road to water
and then from water to sky
and there's a crack in the concrete floor
and it starts at the sink
there's a bathroom in a gas station
and i've locked myself in it to think

and back in the city
the sun bakes the trash on the curb
the men are pissing in doorways
and the rats run in herds
i've got a dream of your face
that scares me awake
i put too much on my table
and now i got too much a stake

and i might let you off easy
yeah i might lead you on
i might wait for you to look for me
and then i might be gone
where i come from and where i'm going
and i'm lost in between
i might go up to that phone booth
and leave a veiled invitation on you machine

and you'll stop me, won't you
if you've heard this one before
the one where i surprise you
by showing up at your front door
saying 'let's not ask what's next,
or how, or why'
i am leaving in the morning
so let's not be shy

the door opens, the room winces
the housekeeper comes in without a warning
and i squint at the muscular motel lady
says 'hey good morning'
and she jumps, her keys jingle
and she leaves as quick as she came in
and i roll over and taste the pillow with my grin
well, the sheets are twisted and tangled
and the heat is so great
and i swear i can feel the mattress
sinking underneath your weight
oh sleep is like a fever
and i'm glad when it ends
and the road flows like a river
and pulls me around every bend


and you'll stop me, won't you...

the heat is so great
it plays tricks with the eye
it turns road to water
and water to sky
and there's a crack in the concrete floor
and it starts at the sink
there's a bathroom in a gas station
and i've locked myself
in it to think

and you'll stop me, won't you...

Sorry I Am
i'm sorry i didn't sound more excited on the phone
i'm sorry that after all these years
i've left you feeling unrequited and alone, brought you to tears
i guess i never loved you quite as well as the way you loved me
i guess i'll never really be able to tell you how sorry
i am

and i don't know what it is about you
i just know it's not what it was
i don't know why red fades before blue it just does
and i don't know what it is about me
that i just can't keep still
i keep thinking someday i will make this all up to you
and maybe someday i will

i guess i never loved you quite as well
as the way you loved me
i guess i'll never really be able to tell you how sorry
i am
sorry i am
sorry i am
sorry i am

Light Of Some Kind
i wish i didn't have this nervous laugh
i wish i didn't say half the stuff i say
i wish i could just learn to cover my tracks
i guess i'm not concerned about getting away

'cause every time i try to hold my tongue
it slips like a fish from a line
they say if you want to play
you should learn how to play dumb
i guess i can't bring myself to waste your time

'cause we both know what i've been doing
i've been intentionally bad at lying
you're the only boy i ever let see through me
and i hope you believe me when i say i'm trying
and i hope i never improve my game
yeah i'd rather have these things weighing on my mind
and at the end of this tunnel of guilt and shame
there must be a light of some kind
there must be a light of some kind

i must have blown a fuse or something
cause it was so dark in my mind
she came up to me with the sweetest face
and she was holding a light of some kind
and i still think of you as my boyfriend
i don't think this is the end of the world
but i think maybe you should follow my example
and go meet yourself a really nice girl

'cause we both know. . .

in the end the world comes down to just a few people
but for you it comes down to one
but no one ever asked me if i thought i could be
everything to someone
there's a crowd of people harbored in every person
there are so many roles that we play
and you've decided to love me for eternity
i'm still deciding who i want to be today

cause we both know. . .

Not A Pretty Girl
i am not a pretty girl
that is not what i do
i ain't no damsel in distress
and i don't need to be rescued
so put me down punk
maybe you'd prefer a maiden fair
isn't there a kitten stuck up a tree somewhere

i am not an angry girl
but it seems like i've got everyone fooled
every time i say something they find hard to hear
they chalk it up to my anger
and never to their own fear
and imagine you're a girl
just trying to finally come clean
knowing full well they'd prefer you
were dirty and smiling

and i am sorry
i am not a maiden fair
and i am not a kitten stuck up a tree somewhere

and generally my generation
wouldn't be caught dead working for the man
and generally i agree with them
trouble is you gotta have yourself an alternate plan
and i have earned my disillusionment
i have been working all of my life
and i am a patriot
i have been fighting the good fight
and what if there are no damsels in distress
what if i knew that and i called your bluff?
don't you think every kitten figures out how to get down
whether or not you ever show up

i am not a pretty girl
i don't want to be a pretty girl
no i want to be more than a pretty girl

The Millions You Never Made
the air comes off the ocean
the city smells fishy
the air is full of fish and mystery
whispering who, what, when
i am warning you i am weightless
and the wind is always shifting
so don't hang anything on me
if you ever want to see it again
i am telling you i'm different than you
think i am

and you can dangle your carrot
but i ain't gonna reach for it
cuz i need both my hands
to play my guitar
and life is a sleazy stranger
who looks vaguely familiar
flirting with a bimbo named disaster
at the end of the bar
and i am telling you that i am different
than you are

at night when you're asleep
self hatred's going to creep in
and try to blame it on the devil
the one who's bed you sleep in
and don't tell me what they did to you
as though you had no choice
tell me, isn't that your picture?
isn't that your voice?
if you don't live what you sing about
your mirror is going to find out
oh yeah

i'd like to go to all the pretty parties
where all the pretty people go
and i ain't really all that pretty
but nobody will know
cuz everybody loves you
when you're a star
and nobody questions
what it takes to go that far
and life is a sleazy stranger
and this is his favorite bar

no i don't prefer obscurity
but i'm an idealistic girl
and i wouldn't work for you
no matter what you paid
and i may not be able
to change the whole fucking world
but i could be the million
that you never made
oh yeah

i could be the million that you never made
i could be the million that you'll never make
you're looking at the million that you'll never make

Hour Follows Hour
hour follows hour
like water follows water
everything is governed by the rule
of one thing leads to another
you can't really place blame
cuz blame is much to messy
some was bound to get on you
while you were trying to put it on me
and don't fool yourself
into thinking things are simple
nobody's lying still the stories don't line up
why do you try to hold on
to what you'll never get a hold on
you wouldn't try to put the ocean
in a paper cup
cuz i have had something to prove
as long as i know there's something
that needs improvement
and you know that every time i move
i make a woman's movement
and first you decide
what you've gotta do
then you go out and do it
and maybe the most we can do
then you go out and do it
and maybe the most we can do
is just to see each other through it
hour follows hour like water in a river
and from one to the next
we don't know what each hour will deliver
we just call it like we see it
call it out loud as we can
and then afterwards we call it all water over the dam
maybe the moral higher ground
ain't as high as it seems
maybe we are both good people
done some bad things
i just hope it was okay
i know it wasn't perfect
i hope in the end we can laugh
and say it was all worth it
cuz i have had something to prove
as long as i know something
that needs improvement
and you know that everytime i move
i make a woman's movement
and first you decide what you've gotta do
then you go out and do it
and maybe the most that we can do
is just to see each other through it
we make our own gravity to give weight to things
then things fall and they break and gravity sings
we can only hold so much is what i figure
try and keep our eye on the big picture
picture keeps getting bigger
and too much is how i love you
but too well is how i know you
and i've got nothing to prove this time
just something to show you
i guess i just wanted you to see
that it was all worth it to me

32 Flavors
squint your eyes and look closer
i'm not between you and your ambition
i am a poster girl with no poster
i am thirty-two flavors and then some
and i'm beyond your peripheral vision
so you might want to turn your head
cause someday you're going to get hungry
and eat most of the words you just said

both my parents taught me about good will
and i have done well by their names
just the kindness i've lavished on strangers
is more than i can explain
still there's many who've turned out their porch lights
just so i would think they were not home
and hid in the dark of their windows
till i'd passed and left them alone

and god help you if you are an ugly girl
course too pretty is also your doom
cause everyone harbors a secret hatred
for the prettiest girl in the room
and god help you if you are a phoenix
and you dare to rise up from the ash
a thousand eyes will smolder with jealousy
while you are just flying past

i'm not trying to give my life meaning
by demeaning you
and i would like to state for the record
i did everything that i could do
i'm not saying that i'm a saint
i just don't want to live that way
no, i will never be a saint
but i will always say

squint your eyes and look closer
i'm not between you and your ambition
i am a poster girl with no poster
i am thirty-two flavors and then some
and i'm beyond your peripheral vision
so you might want to turn your head
cause someday you might find you're starving
and eating all of the words you said

Asking Too Much
i want somebody who sees the pointlessness
and still keeps their purpose in mind
i want somebody who has a tortured soul
some of the time
i want somebody who will either put out for me
or put me out of misery
or maybe just put it all to words
and make me say, you know
i never heard it put that way
make me say, what did you just say?

i want somebody who can hold my interest
hold it and never let it fall
someone who can flatten me with a kiss
that hits like a fist
or a sentence, that stops me like a brick wall
if you hear me talking
listen to what i'm not saying
if you hear me playing guitar
listen to what i'm not playing
and don't ask me to put words
to all the silences i wrote
don't ask me to put words
to all the spaces between notes
in fact if you have to ask, forget it
do and you'll regret it
i'm tired of being the interesting one
i'm tired of having fun for two
just lay yourself on the line
and i might lay myself down by you
but don't sit behind your eyes
and wait for me to surprise you
i want somebody who can make me
scream until it's funny
give me a run for my money
i want someone who can
twist me up in knots
tell me, for the woman who has everything
what have you got?
i want someone who's not afraid of me
or anyone else
in other words i want someone
who's not afraid of themself

do you think i'm asking too much?

This Bouquet
got a garden of songs where i grow all my thoughts
wish i could harvest one or two for some small talk
i'm always starving for words when you're around
nothing on my tongue so much in my ground

half the time i got my gaze trained on your motel door
fourth door from the end
rest of the time my gaze lays like a stain on the carpeted floor
if it weren't for my brain i'd go over and make friends
too bad about my brain 'cause i'd like to make friends.

see the little song bird unable to make a sound
even though she follows her words from town to town
we both have gardens of songs and maybe its okay
that i am speechless because i picked you this bouquet.

Crime For Crime
the big day has come
the bell is sounding
i run my hands through my hair one last time
outside the prison walls
the town is gathering
people are trading crime for crime

everyone needs to see the prisoner
they need to make it even easier
they see me as a symbol, and not a human being
that way they can kill me
say it's not murder, it's a metaphor
we are killing off our own failure
and starting clean

standing in the gallows
everyone turned my way
i hear a voice ask me
if i've got any last words to say
and i'm looking out over the field of familiar eyes
somewhere in a woman's arms a baby cries

i think guilt and innocence
they are a matter of degree
what might be justice to you
might not be justice to me
i went to far, i'm sorry
i guess now i'm going home
so let any amongst you cast the first stone
now we've got all these complicated machines
so no one person ever has to have blood on their hands
we've got complex organizations
and if everyone just does their job
no one person has to understand

you might be the wrong color
you might be too poor
justice isn't something just anyone can afford
you might not pull the trigger
you might be out in the car
and you might get a lethal injection
'cause we take a metaphor that far

the big day has come
the bell is sounding
i run my hands through my hair one last time
outside the prison walls
the town has gathered
people are trading crime for crime
people are trading crime for crime
people are still trading crime for crime

Coming Up
our father who art in a penthouse
sits in his 37th floor suite
and swivels to gaze down
at the city he made me in
he allows me to stand and
solicit graffiti until
he needs the land i stand on
i in my darkened threshold
am pawing through my pockets
the receipts, the bus schedules
the matchbook phone numbers
the urgent napkin poems
all of which laundering has rendered
pulpy and strange
loose change and a key
ask me
go ahead, ask me if i care
i got the answer here
i wrote it down somewhere
i just gotta find it
i just gotta find it

somebody and their spray paint got too close
somebody came on too heavy
now look at me made ugly
by the drooling letters
i was better off alone
ain't that the way it is
they don't know the first thing
but you don't know that
until they take the first swing
my fingers are red and swollen from the cold
i'm getting bold in my old age
so go ahead, try the door
it doesn't matter anymore
i know the weakhearted are strongwilled
and we are being kept alive
until we're killed
he's up there the ice
is clinking in his glass
he sends me little pieces of paper
i don't ask
i just empty my pockets and wait
it's not fate
it's just circumstance
i don't fool myself with romance
i just live
phone number to phone number
dusting them against my thighs
in the warmth of my pockets
which whisper history incessantly
asking me
where were you

i lower my eyes
wishing i could cry more
and care less,
yes it's true,
i was trying to love someone again,
i was caught caring,
bearing weight

but i love this city, this state
this country is too large
and whoever's in charge up there
had better take the elevator down
and put more than change in our cup
or else we
are coming
up


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